Whoa, Not What I Expected!

Last night while baking my first three layer chocolate cake, I learned a big lesson; I need to slow down my brain and actions... it isn't as though I am on the "Great British Baking Show" for Pete's sake! I thought it would come naturally to be present and enjoy the activity and process of baking a great cake. Definitely not what happened, it was a massive rush to do each step and believe it or not I began to second guess the recipe. Was it a fake, did the author intentionally leave out or add in something needed/un-needed? Wow, anxiety went sky high!! Not exactly what a perfectionist who uses alcohol to calm her nerves needs, eh? This morning, after having a cup or two of great coffee I remembered that no experiment is a failure if you learn from it, correct? The desire to replace one habit that gives me the "feeling of perfection" will not be easily fixed by just replacing it with another. I need to do some internal work to figure out why I want to rush through everything just to get to the end and start something new. Oh, and I haven't even tasted the final product, that's the part about ..."and not gain weight". Crazy but true, good thing I have friends willing to be my taste testers!

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